Been hooked up with classics lately, not classical love songs, but classical pieces from Chopin & Debussy, Concertos by Mozart, etc. Somehow I am seeing melody as flow of life, from the highest pitch of notes, to the lowest bass of strings...and the emotions of the conductor, taking over the stage like indulging themselves being one with the piece, I wonder how that feels...Life's not?
How does being one with life really feels like?
There must be zillions of answers out there to the above question...
Yet people like me are still trying to suit oneself to each answer, to each note, to each piece, to be able to conduct one's own stage of life~
How many had achieved such goal?
On stage, a conductor controls how the piece supposed to be played...
In life, you control how your life flows...
On stage, the assembly of musicians understands every move the conductor made...
In life, the person who adore you most are the one who understands the reason behind everything you do...
On stage, the cooperation between the musicians and the conductor is the main recipe towards a successful orchestra played...
In life, without cooperation and understanding, you simply can't achieve everything, you just can't do it, it's like a crumbled cake out from the oven, for the absence of understanding of time-control...
For those who aren't able to understand the conductor, he/she will destroy a wonderful piece created...
For those who have friends assuming they know you, judge you, change you, they are just another passer by. And never let a passer by affect how you want to conduct your life, for you are the one who knows yourself best, for how are you suppose for others to understand you if you do not?
A conductor's dream is to be able to lead an orchestra perfectly, preferably a piece from a re-known conductor, or a piece created by themselves...
Similarly, we have our own dreams, and our dreams are the one motivation that keeps us alive, keeps us going, keeps us fighting for whatever there is, be it a right, a job, an application, a place in the society, a terminal illness!
Ludwig van Beethoven, a name familiar to most of us, a pianist, a conductor, a performer, who gradually became deaf when he turned famous. Yet he had a dream that motivated him to continue doing what he was doing, finding alternatives to enhance his sound perception, to further pursue his dream - Music...when he was totally deaf, although he was unable to perform or conduct anymore, there was still one things he could do, to pass on his legacy through discussions and thoughts on music, on how should it be played, towards his disciples, and other musicians through written communication, until he died...
And so I was wondering, what if I had an illness, or a tragedy, any events later in my life that would make me disabled, or only having few years, months or even days to live on...will I give up or will I do something in my remaining days to live when my dream have yet to be achieved?
To me,
To live a life, is to live a dream;
a life without a dream, is a life of "blank"
I would definitely want to fight my life, sustain life, and achieve what I was born for, for it was why I lived on for this many years, wouldn't it be a waste if I was just to give up, complain, whine, and try to commit suicide just to end suffering?
It will definitely be a waste, but how far can I fight on is still a maze, for what I need to fight with, is still a question to be answered...
